Where, Who, What! Am I?
 


"I fell from the sky in 1975;

Politics & Punk were about to collide."

- Royal Blue


 
Intergalactic Vault of Obscure Phraseology
 
Blue-John Benjamin (blōō~jŏn běn'jə-mən)
        
-noun
      
1.    One of the taller, thinner earthlings.  Relatively free from mental derangement;
      
2.    A singer-songwriter / guitar-tinkerer who dwells in Whitby, England;
      
3.    Eldest son of Gill & John;
      
4.    1755-?, Little-known writer of fiction;
      
5.    Habitual frequenter of cafés, and watcher of goings-on.
 
Bluephoria (blōō~fôr'ē-ə):
        -noun
      1. A genre of music supposedly invented by a ghostlike English songsmith;
      2. A painstakingly crafted, sonic love letter characterised by broken, buckled chords, bittersweet lyrics, warm woodiness, and a generous dusting of deliberate over ambition;
      3. That which is released on Derelict Roller Disco Records, a purely fictitious label;
          4. A transient state of melancholic well-being induced by listening to the work of an ancient poet, and his Amateur Humans - an assemblage of loyal collaborators who, through thick and invariably thin, keep him company around the campfire.
 

₪ Songsmith & writer ₪ Last of the incurable romantics

₪ Ancient poet ₪ Interstellar messenger ₪ Vanilla latte addict

₪ Wall of Death rider*
 
 
 

Status: somewhat slightly dazed & confused.

Appearance: constantly shifting, but he has a tendency to adopt the 'Hornblower gone feral' look.

Hobbies: collecting the children's television programmes of the past; pointing a camera at interesting things, and pressing the shutter-release button.

Sounds like: twilight in English meadows and woodlands; the texture of crushed velvet; the dark taste of a full-bodied coffee; the moment when Nick Drake, David Sylvian, Ian Curtis and Gabriel (Bagpuss' pal) rendezvous ..

.. in space.

Resides in: Whitby, his adopted hometown .. or perhaps Whitby adopted him.

Wakes to: the language of the gulls.

Film most frequently revisited: 'Wonder Boys'.

Influenced by? Well, Kate's Wuthering Heights was quite something for a small boy to be assimilating (particularly when augmented by Terry Wogan's rendition of The Floral Dance, and his dad's impromptu impersonations of P. J. Proby).

Subsequently? Songs rooted in the past - songs conveying a novel's worth of emotional tumult in seven verses; Betjeman / Larkin / Bennett; the musical architecture of Manchester; late night / small hours radio; Kenneth Williams' final diary entry.

Helpful notes for tourists: May begin to show signs of intelligence if jabbed periodically.  When initiating communications with the above, please be aware that mind-melding and other modes of telepathic interchange are generally not recommended; they pose a significant risk to health.

Force of Nature, Peter the Great: Not a man to suffer fools gladly 

Blue-John is aided & abetted, when making recordings, by a merry band of collaborators - the Amateur Humans - which includes his brothers, Thom and Richie, and his American cousin, Peter the Great. Gigwise, it's a skeleton crew of one.

 


A Brief History of Blue

Blue-John (or "Strange Uncle Benny") spent his formative years in the wilderness of Lincolnshire, went on to form a band of renegades called These Four Walls, and attained a shamanic mastery of music.  He then became a Careers Advisor by mistake.

An unquenchable thirst for glory has not yet been slaked, however, and Blue-John continues to seek recognition as a solo artist & novelist.  His chaotic assemblage of cultural reference points encompasses…

                 Douglas Adam's Arthur Dent
 

              Lance Armstrong's seventh Tour de France victory

              Ronnie Barker's Arkwright (Open All Hours)

              Mr Benn's visits to the costume shop

              Alan Bennett's Untold Stories

              John Betjeman's Summoned by Bells

              Hugh Bonneville's Philip Larkin (Love Again)

              Jeremy Brett's Sherlock Holmes

              Bill Bryson's Notes from a Small Island

              Christina's World, and all other paintings by Andrew Wyeth

              Sebastian Coe's ability to accelerate

              Bill Conti's music for Rocky

              Colin Dann's The Siege of White Deer Park

              Fred Dibnah's Industrial Age

              Christopher Eccleston's Strayman (Strumpet)

              Lou Ferrigno's Hulk / Bill Bixby's poignant portrayal

                                                        of Dr David Banner

              Gabriel's Gift by Hanif Kureishi

              GBH's / Alan Bleasdale's ability to surprise

              Mike Harding's weekly radio programme

              Kay Harker's Christmas holiday in The Box of Delights

              Colin Harper's Dazzling Stranger, a literary portrait of Bert Jansch

              Nigel Havers' Lord Lindsay (Chariots of Fire)

              Jimi Hendrix's arrival in "swinging" London, 1966

              Joan Hickson's Miss Marple

              The High Llama's gig at The Charlotte in Leicester, December 1995

              Eddie Izzard's ability to improvise

              Jane's Addiction

              Jack Kerouac's Lonesome Traveler

              Leftfield's Melt

              Liverpool's poets

              John Lydon's defiance / intelligence

              Matthew McConaughey's Wooderson (Dazed & Confused)

              Morrissey's wit

              Michael Palin's Around the World in 80 Days

              Stephen Poliakoff's Perfect Strangers

              Oliver Postgate's words / Peter Firmin's pictures, e.g.

                                                                 Ivor the Engine

              Dennis Potter's Lipstick on Your Collar

              Robert Powell's Richard Hannay (The Thirty-Nine Steps)

              Monty Python's Flying Circus

              John Robb's book on The Stone Roses

              The Secret Seven's ability to solve mysteries

              Shakespeare's alchemy

              This Life's twenty-somethings

              Danny Thompson's double bass, Victoria

              Eric Thompson's Dougal (The Magic Roundabout)

              Richard Thompson's Beeswing

              Christine Walkden's passion for horticulture

              Withnail's soliloquy

              Woman's Hour, BBC Radio 4

              Rafi Zabor's hirsute saxophonist in his novel,

                                                                 The Bear Comes Home 

Ah, already conspicuous by their absence:

               Lemon Jelly's Rambling Man;
 
               Nick Drake's River Man.
Where were they hiding? A list, then, though not - by any stretch - a definitive one.  

Blue-John Benjamin is often told that, physically at least, he closely resembles a) Captain Jack Sparrow, b) Billy Connolly, and c) Jesus of Nazareth.  Perplexingly, such observations are, as a rule, good-humoured & well-meaning.

 
*Not really.  Only in my dreams.